The wife keeps putting Gogglebox on. It's a show on channel 4 that features people who have had cameras strapped to the TV in their living room. Everything they say and do while watching TV is recorded, then edited together.
I'm describing this in a matter of fact way, that belies how much this programme makes me want to shoot myself in the face. My god its awful. It makes me wish for a zombie apocalypse, and that said apocalypse would happen while the Gogglebox cameras were rolling.
The narrator tells us which programme they are all watching, and then it switches between the various different living rooms. Then we watch them all play up to the cameras. Kill me now (no, I'm serious! Why are you laughing?)
At one point, a very, very low point, the programme they were watching was another Channel 4 travesty, a reality TV show set in the men's toilets at a nightclub. I shit you not (sorry), I was literally watching somebody watching somebody else having a piss. What has the world come to? As a civilization, can we get any lower than this? Are there actually any depths left to plumb?
Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm slowly turning into Charlie Brooker. Maybe I'm destined to hate more and more things the older I get. Maybe this is a really original idea, deftly executed and the rest of the country are giving Gogglebox a standing ovation.
"BRAVO! The inter-cut footage of the drunken teenager having a massive shit was an absolute master stroke! I'm so glad we stopped watching Panorama!".
In twenty years time I can well imagine a talking heads style show looking back at all this with reverence. Like 2013 is the Golden (sorry) age of live proxy pissing.
I'm sure this all started with big brother. I watched the first series of big brother and absolutely loved it. It was new, different, and I didn't know what was going to happen. Well, to be honest not a lot did happen. It should have been left at that. One series. But that opened the door for a whole host of wankfests. And here I am years later, wiping foul smelling televisual ejaculate off my face on an almost daily basis.
Someone get me my cyanide capsules.