Ruddy hell, it's LucasDisney!

So it's official. As NYC recovers from Sandy, Disney have bought Lucasfilm. Sequel trilogy to starwars to follow.

Woah. Let me take a breath. Ok, now let me get incredibly angry. Now let me calm down again. I'm not really that offended by this per se, i'm not sure when i last watched a LucasFilm erm film that i liked. It might have been Return of the Jedi. It definitely wasn't those bloody Ewok films (did they do those?). It DEFINITELYDEFINITELY wasn't that last Indiana Jones debacle (y'know, Indiana Jones and the Nuclear Fridge?).

I lived in the 80's when there was NO MORE STAR WARS. Return of the Jedi was it. Those characters were history, dude. There was a droids cartoon, and the ewok shit. But that doesnt count. For years i yearned for more, and there wasnt. Then i grew up, discovered booze, girls. Well more booze than girls. And then....a lifetime later, there was more Star Wars!!!! Yay!!!!

And it was shit.

It was the Phantom Menace. And god, it was....sooooooo bad. Liam Neeson made for a good Jedi but......

Well, i wont go into that one. The Prequels got a little better with the other two. But they were still shit!

Shit Shit Shit Shit.

Then there was a cartoon (The clone wars, not bad actually, but still based on the prequels), there has been talk of a live action show for years, dont know whats happening with that. Theres more Star Wars now than you can shake a hard, dry piece of Bantha poo at. And thats watered it down. There ya go, thats my two cents.

Everyone i talk to about this, seems to have a name i hadnt thought of. Will be updating this throughout the day.

TV of Yesteryear Celebrity Pedophile Sweepstake

Ok, so obviously things are really busy at work, so I've spent valuable time compiling a list of possible celebrity Pedophiles, who might be arrested in the next few days as part of the Jimmy Saville Inquiry, so
in light of rampant & often baseless speculation, I've joined in with the paranoia through the medium of spoof..

I should also point out that none of this blog post is meant to actually accuse anyone of anything, and is written under the express assumption that only people i know / work with will be reading it. If you're ACTUALLY on this list, wait a second before you call your solicitor and consider for a moment....that i cant afford one.

I really must also point out that a lot of these are suggestions that are up under protest. Well not much of a protest, but come on, Rolf Harris? No-one thinks he's one do they?

Fictional Characters are not allowed. That includes Jesus.

Heres what i have so far:

Timmy Mallett

Michael Barrymore

Bruce Forsythe

Michael Parkinson

Keith Chegwyn

Tony Hart

Morph

Danny Baker

Paul Daniels

Noel Edmunds

Kenny Everett

Stu Francis

Russell Grant

Terry Wogan

Rolf Harris (Rolfs abuse club, you can join today)

Jim Bowen (There nothing in this game for two in a bed. Unless youre twelve.)

Christopher Biggens

The Great Sopendro

The guy who played “Grandad”

Anyone over the age of 40 who’s ever played an old man in a werthers original advert.

Tregard (Beardy bloke off Knightmare, invited children into his dungeon, made one of them put a mask on so they couldn’t see anything)

Ken Dodd

Tony Blackburn

Rod Hull (Theres somebody at the door. Theres somebody at the door! Yes. Its the Child Protection Unit)

An update from Julie in the office: 13:03

John Inman

Tom Baker 

Dick Emery

And some more idle thinking:

The entire cast of Only Fools and Horses
The entire cast of Last of the Summer Wine

Jeremy Beadle

John Virgo

Jim Davidson
Des Lynham
Pat Sharpe (I would never go to his funhouse. Which was just a cover for the 2 slovakian girls he had shipped in to wear skimpy costumes)
Bill Wyman
Jonathan King
Chris Langham
Alvin Stardust
Jon Pertwee
Una Stubbs
Cliff Richard
The Krankies
Ronnie Corbett
Hale &/or Pace
Rowan Atkinson
Peter Purves
Matthew Kelly
Henry Kelly
Clive Anderson
Des O Connor
Russ Abbott
Les Dennis